I woke up today to the most loudest rain ever. For a second I thought my window would break out. Then I remembered that my window was open. So I closed it and I went back to sleep. I haven’t slept better than I did today. Not only finally a day where the rain is longer than five minutes, but also a deep sleep. I probably had a dream, but I can not remember it. Lucky me this time. To be honest with you I keep having bad nights. I fall asleep after hours and I mostly wake up feeling like I slept for a minute or four. Some nights I force myself to wake up before they come again.. The nightmares. Sometimes I have these nightmares that are so weird. They are terrible enough. Bath bomb that are really bombs that are strong enought to blow out a wall. Cockroach that hide in food and craw out of you mouths fourths times bigger and kill you when you fight them.Getting shot at with coins at churches. Sometimes even people that you care about slowly dying and there is nothing you can do . The others are more terrible than that. Taking naps are also not really helping any longer.
Mom said it might be the heat playing with my brain. At first I thought it might be stress, but now I don’t think so any longer. I think something else might be going on. Maybe I just need to take some rest and lay off things.
I have been reading so much lately. I finished Melody’s key in 7 days and now I am looking at my shelf every second to see what is next. I have to much to read.. Also to much to write about. Sorry that I have been laying of the writing. I am blocked and there is a lot of things going on I can’t tell you for enough reasons.
One of them is that I am avoiding people. A lot of people. Specially a currant someone. I can’t think straight when I see him. With all the things stuck in my brain, I can’t have that as well. The heat surely is driving me crazy as well, but there is so much more going on. And I can’t just walk in a store and lose my thought for a second and then go back home to not only be stressed out, but also have hundred of more things to worry about in mind. And all because my brain turns off when I notice him. I can’t think clearly anymore.. That is why I am avoiding him..
But luckily it is raining. And I have my notebook.. All I need right now. I guess..
P.s. I loved the piece you left behind. It makes me wonder what it is like to drown..