‘Kate why do we always clean up other peoples mess? Mentally, physically or emotionally. We always clean up other people their messes.’
I am sorry I haven’t been writing letters so often. There is something going on I rather explain some other time, some other place. My days are pretty busy because of it now. I feel angry at myself for not noticing the lack of writing. Sorry for that. I did order another stack of books so you will seeing them again soon. I also finished the green book I showed you before. I totally loved it. I immediately picked up the second one. You know how I never do that with series, so you know how much I loved it then. Yes it ended with a cliffhanger, but I swear you might as well just throw yourself off the cliff.
I spent some time with my little niece. You remember her right? She forced me and Lily to the new smurf movie. All the time I wanted to take a nap, but then these figures started talking again. I don’t know what it is with these cartoon characters, but they surely are on drugs. I did like the Trolls movie better. The smurfs movie looked like a cheap copy of it. And no, I still have not seen the Beauty and the beast movie or The Power rangers. I guess I will not see it until it is on DVD or worse. When the spoilers come out. I hate spoilers, but yeah who doesn’t. Just the other day my sister almost got spoiled for ’13 reasons why’ on netflix. She finally finished the book so now she can watch it. She will probably watch it with her boyfriend. So I guess she will finish it after the summer.
I did notice something about her boyfriend. He seems nice. Of everything I heard so far. I made cake for him because he was feeling down and he told my sister it was probably the best cake ever. She got so pissed! She also makes stuff for him but she never heard the same I guess. I still laugh about it. Specially because I would never fall for someone like him. He has a beard. Yeah I know what you think of them.
Anyway how are your exams going?! I noticed you had been off for a few days. I guess you need the time we mostly talk to get the rest. Don’t worry I totally understand. I guess we both are getting bad nights of sleep. I know you are getting hunted by stress now and you are probably smoking it away. Don’t worry I am not going to tell you to quit or even try to stop. If you like it then why not. It is nothing for me. I tried smoking and it was so bad my tongue was numb for two days and the taste was so bad. It also gave me an asthma attack. Twice. I just keep it on sugar and bad nights of sleeps. Just the other day I had a dream my kneecap was shot off. Yeah, that is weird enough, but after that I dreamed of something beautiful. It was about ‘you know who’. I was hanging around with some friends in the dream and we were talking. Sadly I can’t remember what it was about. But suddenly HE came up in the conversation and someone was getting a call. And the phone was pressed in my hands and when I listened to who was talking… It was him. I felt so nervous all of a sudden. I barely get nervous only around him.. But I heard it voice and it was so weird because I heard to words so clearly and now I just remember them as a blur. But all I remembered that we were talking and it was nice. I really liked it.. Hold on scratch that. I loved it. But at the point we seemed to be planning on meeting the people around me became clear again and I woke up. Then it hit me again. The pure cruelty of reality. The reality who I was and I had no idea who these people in my dream had been. Just one. Him. Again.
Sadly I barely dream these days. It pieces me off. I used to love it, but now I just hope for one thing. And mostly I get the sad fact that what looks like a cute dream turns into a nightmare, followed by a even more cruel nightmare.
Reality really does ruin my life…